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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29724909">Then and Now</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sahiya/pseuds/sahiya'>sahiya</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Febuwhump 2021 [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Caretaking, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Peter Parker, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Soulmates, Protective Tony Stark, Soul Bond, The Stark Lake House, Tony Stark Has A Heart, do not copy to another site, nonlinear storytelling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:27:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29724909</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sahiya/pseuds/sahiya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Two times Peter and Tony recovered at the lake house. (Platonic soul bond AU.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Febuwhump 2021 [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2142057</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>198</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>febuwhump 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Then and Now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is for the "recovery" prompt at Febuwhump. This is my last fic for the month –– thanks to everyone who commented, kudo'd, and read! </p><p>This is both a prequel and a sequel to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29177475">A Wound in the Mind</a>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>THEN</b>
</p><p>A new soul bond on top of losing his arm, on top of radiation poisoning, on top of the painful scarring that laced his entire right side, was almost too much. </p><p>Tony didn’t regret it. It was impossible to regret it, not when he’d spent five years missing Peter and now he had constant evidence, in his own mind, that he’d succeeded in bringing him back. But a bond formed under fire was liable to be unstable until it was given time to settle, and in the weeks since the snap there had been no time. </p><p>But now, Bruce and Helen were finally convinced that Tony was no longer in immediate danger. He’d lost his arm, and there might be further consequences that weren’t yet clear, but he wouldn’t lose his life –– thanks in part to Peter, who had instinctively used their new bond on the battlefield to save Tony.</p><p>That moment was a blur in Tony’s mind, and he worried about what the cost of it might have been to Peter himself. Peter insisted he was fine, but Tony knew from the bond that he wasn’t sleeping, that he was having nightmares, that he was getting spillover pain from Tony, not that he ever complained about any of it. </p><p>When Bruce and Helen finally signed off on Tony leaving the hospital, his first instinct was to get himself and Peter to the lake house. It didn’t take much convincing to get May and Pepper onboard. From there, it took only about twenty-four hours for the hospital to release Ton and for Pepper to arrange a Quinjet to take them all upstate. </p><p>Peter was quiet during the flight. He’d been quiet a lot since he’d come back, Tony had noticed. He rode in the back of the Quinjet with Tony, holding his hand. Pepper and Morgan sat up front with Happy; May sat in the back with them, but except for keeping an eye on Tony’s vitals, she gave them some space. </p><p>Tony kept his eyes closed and tried to focus on the bond, on picking through the swirling emotions of it. Peter was exhausted more than anything else, he finally concluded. The best thing for all of them, once they reached the house, would be a long nap. </p><p>“You’re going to love the house,” Tony finally said aloud, squeezing Peter’s hand. “There’s a room on the first floor that I’ve always thought of as yours, even when you weren’t here to use it. Though come to think of it,” he added with a grimace, “I might need to use it, at least until I can go up and down the stairs.”</p><p>“That’s okay,” Peter said. His voice sounded a little rough, like he hadn’t spoken in hours. “I can sleep on the sofa or something.”</p><p>“We’ll find you a real bed, Pete. I can feel how tired you are.”</p><p>Peter hunched his shoulders, self-consciously. “Don’t worry about me.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s... not possible,” Tony said, eyeing him. </p><p>Peter looked away. He didn’t let go of Tony’s hand, but Tony could <i>feel</i> him closing himself off. </p><p>Minutes later, they were descending. In the ruckus of getting off the Quinjet –– which included Tony having to transfer from his bed to a wheelchair for the trip into the house –– he lost track of Peter. But finally Pepper –– and May, who had offered up her nursing skills for the duration of his recovery –– got him settled on the bed in the downstairs bedroom. </p><p>Tony had never stayed down here before. Everything in the room had been chosen because it reminded him of Peter: the red and blue color scheme, the action figures in the glass case, the print of the New York skyline as seen from Queens. He wasn’t sure he could have handled it before he got Peter back. Now, it was comforting. </p><p>“Where’s Peter?” Tony asked, once he had meekly sat through May’s stern lecture about not getting out of bed on his own, not even to use the bathroom. </p><p>“He’s watching Morgan,” Pepper said, from where she was putting a few things away in the dresser. “Can’t you tell?”</p><p>“It’s not a GPS,” Tony replied. Though come to think of it, microchipping the kid wasn’t the worst idea. “Could you send him in here?”</p><p>“Sure.” Pepper shut the dresser drawer. “Do you feel up to real food, or should I defrost some soup?”</p><p>“Real food,” Tony said. “But not too ambitious.”</p><p>“Damn, and we got all that vindaloo on our way out of town,” May said. She was entering a couple of things in the chart Bruce had asked them to keep. “I’ll let Peter know. And seriously,” she added as she left, “if I catch you getting up on your own to pee, I <i>will</i> pull out the bed pan! You don’t impress me!”</p><p>“Why are all the women in my life so scary?” Tony complained. </p><p>“Aw, honey, you like us that way,” Pepper said, and kissed him on the top of his head. </p><p>Tony was scrolling through the Netflix offerings when there was a quiet knock at the door. “Mr. Stark?” Peter asked, nudging the door open. </p><p>“We’re bondmates, Pete, I think you can call me Tony,” Tony said. “Come on in.”</p><p>Peter came in, but only just. He hovered by the door. “May said you wanted to see me.”</p><p>“Yeah. Come sit down?” Tony patted the edge of the bed. </p><p>Peter sat, gingerly. </p><p>“I know we haven’t had a lot of one-on-one time since the whole soul bond thing happened,” Tony said. “In an ideal world, we would’ve had a lot more of it, in order to get used to things.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Peter said, ducking his head. “You’ve had a lot going on.”</p><p>“You, too,” Tony said. “And I know you’ve been getting spillover pain ––”</p><p>“It’s okay.”</p><p>“No, it’s not,” Tony replied firmly. “We need to try and figure that out, if nothing else. I haven’t had the chance to do much research yet, but Bruce said that resting in close proximity can be helpful in settling the bond. So what do you say to a nap after lunch?”</p><p>Peter shrugged. He didn’t exactly agree, but he didn’t argue either. Tony decided he’d take it. </p><p>After lunch, Pepper and May took Morgan outside for a walk, leaving Tony and Peter on their own. Peter settled on the other half of the bed, a throw blanket over his legs. Tony could feel his hesitation and worry and self-consciousness through the bond, but emotion without context was less useful than Tony would have thought. He tried to push assurance and care back, but the only result was a physical flinch on Peter’s part. Tony backed off instantly. </p><p>“I don’t know if I can sleep,” Peter said quietly. </p><p>“That’s okay. Just try,” Tony said with a yawn. He thought that if Peter stopped moving, he’d probably pass out pretty quickly. </p><p>That much was true for Tony. He closed his eyes and fell asleep almost immediately. It was deep and dreamless, aided no doubt by the painkillers he was still taking. </p><p>He woke hours later, alone, with the bond just as unsettled as ever. Peter’s half of the bed was cold, the covers barely rumpled. </p><p>“Five or ten minutes, maybe,” May said, when Tony asked her how long Peter had stayed with him. The kid in question had taken Morgan down to the lake to look for bugs. “He said he couldn’t sleep and he didn’t want to wake you up.”</p><p>Tony sighed. “Right. Any ideas here?”</p><p>May shook her head. “He’s working things through. Just be patient.”</p><p>Patient. Right. Because patience was definitely one of Tony’s strong suits. </p><p>
  <b>NOW</b>
</p><p>The first thing Peter did after arriving at the lake house was crash hard, as though his body had been waiting for him to get to a place where he felt safe enough for it to give out. </p><p>It was just the two of them. May had a few things to sort out at work after being out for several days; she’d be coming up with Pepper and Morgan on Friday. For now it was just Peter and Tony. </p><p>Tony was pretty worn out, too, but he found himself wandering the first floor, not even wanting to put a staircase between himself and Peter. He would feel better if he went and sat next to him, he knew, but he didn’t want to disrupt his sleep with his own restless energy. </p><p>The thing about a soul bond, though, was that there was really no getting away from the other person. Tony didn’t know how long he’d been pacing or how many cups of coffee he’d drunk when he heard Peter’s door open. He came shuffling out, bleary-eyed and tousle-haired, and fixed Tony with an unimpressed stare. </p><p>Annoyance with a hint of concern was the overwhelming emotion that Tony was getting from Peter now. </p><p>“Sorry,” Tony said, before Peter said anything. “I didn’t mean to keep you up.”</p><p>Peter silently took the cup of coffee out of Tony’s hand and went to pour it out in the sink. “Hey,” Tony objected half-heartedly. </p><p>“You’re tired, too, and you’re avoiding rest.” </p><p>“It was a nightmarish week. So sue me.”</p><p>Peter’s only response was to push Tony toward the couch and shove him down onto it. Tony was unsurprised when Peter shoved a couch cushion up against his legs, put his head down on it, and then grabbed his hand and placed it in his hair. </p><p>“Demanding today, aren’t we?” Tony grumbled. </p><p>“This is for you, not me,” Peter replied with a yawn. </p><p>“Oh really?” Tony said, even as he started working through Peter’s usual mess of tangled curls. At least he’d washed his hair before they’d left the tower. “I’m stroking your hair for my own benefit?”</p><p>“Don’t front. I can hear that your heart rate has dropped and you already feel a lot calmer.”</p><p>“And you complain that I invade <i>your</i> privacy,” Tony muttered. </p><p>“Yeah,” Peter said with another yawn. “I do. But I was in a dead sleep until your anxiety attack woke me up.”</p><p>“I wasn’t –– well. I guess maybe I was.” Tony sighed, slumping back into the sofa. “I’ve just gotten used to having you in my head, kid. Not having you there really threw me for a loop.”</p><p>Peter hummed. “No one ever talks about that part of it.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I mean... books and movies all make having a soul bond sound amazing. I didn't grow up around one –– my dad and Ben were bonded, but I don’t remember enough before my parents died to know what it was like. And it is great, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also... I don't know how to explain it.”</p><p>Tony thought he had an idea of what Peter was driving at. “It makes you extra vulnerable.”</p><p>“Yeah. Exactly. I’m extra afraid of losing you.” Peter sighed. “I guess that’s why the Jedis rejected them.”</p><p>Tony laughed. “All roads lead to <i>Star Wars</i> for you, don’t they?”</p><p>“Not <i>all</i>,” Peter said. “But I used to think... I don’t know, I used to think it was kind of silly, because I read all these stories about bondmates doing incredible things for each other. But maybe they had it right. I was so freaked out about losing you, I could barely get myself out of a prison in my own head.”</p><p>“But you did,” Tony said, tugging gently on Peter’s hair. “And I’ll tell you, kiddo... until we bonded, the closest thing I’d ever felt to this was being a parent. When you’re a parent, there’s a piece of you walking around out in the world, and you are deathly afraid of something happening to them.”</p><p>“That’s exactly what it’s like,” Peter murmured. He sounded like he was on the verge of falling asleep. “How do you handle it?”</p><p>Tony sighed. “You have no choice.You do what you can to keep them safe, you teach them what they need to keep themselves safe, and then you... trust. And you accept that that fear is the price we pay for loving someone.” He looked down at Peter. His eyes were closed, his lips parted a little as he breathed evenly, in and out. The bond was quiet between them, a deep ocean of calm. “You taught me that, Peter,” he whispered. “Way before we bonded.”</p><p>Peter didn’t stir. Tony leaned his head back against the sofa and watched as the rain lashed the windows. </p><p>
  <b>THEN</b>
</p><p>The kid was avoiding him. </p><p>Tony knew it, but since he was basically stuck in his bed, it was hard for him to do much about it. Pepper reported that he was spending a lot of time with Morgan, which was great — really, truly great. Tony only wished he was well enough to join them. But the kid wasn’t sleeping well, and the bond was still unsettled between them. </p><p>“It’s not good for either of you,” Bruce told him during his house call two days after Tony had gone home to the cabin. </p><p>“Believe me, I know.” The bond felt... twitchy. Like a muscle spasm, deep in the recesses of Tony’s mind. “I don’t know what the problem is.”</p><p>“You can’t tell?”</p><p>“It’s just raw emotion, I don’t know anything about where it’s coming from,” Tony said with some frustration. He took a deep breath, not wanting Peter to feel that from him. “He’s sad and he’s tired and he’s a little angry, and he’s avoiding me.”</p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p>“What does that mean?”</p><p>“Nothing, I’m just thinking. Have you asked him how he feels about the bond?”</p><p>Tony blinked. “No. Should I?”</p><p>“Maybe. How do <i>you</i> feel about it?”</p><p>Tony had to stop and think. “I’m... I don’t know. Do you think that’s what he’s pissed about?”</p><p>Bruce shook his head. “I don’t know. But he wouldn’t be the first person who felt ambivalent about a bond.”</p><p>Tony was silent, mulling that over. It made sense, he guessed. Romantic bonds, while rarer than platonic ones, were way over-represented in pop culture. Maybe Peter had hoped for one of those, until Tony had come along and ruined any chance of that for him. Or maybe it was Tony himself Peter didn’t want to be bonded to; he could hardly blame him, though the idea stung. Or maybe all the crap they’d been dealing with — like the spillover pain — had Peter thinking that none of this was worth it. </p><p>As for how he himself felt about it — well, it was surprising, that was for sure, and right now it was kind of uncomfortable, but Tony wouldn’t trade it for anything. Not after five years without Peter. </p><p>“I’ll talk to him,” Tony finally said. </p><p>“Good,” Bruce said. “Call me if anything changes. Otherwise I’ll see you again in two days.”</p><p>Tony’s chance came the next morning. He was feeling better, and Bruce had cleared him to get out of bed on his own, as long as he didn’t go far, didn’t attempt the stairs, and used his cane to support his weakened right side. </p><p>Tony was willing to follow <i>all</i> the rules as long as it meant he got to pee on his own. </p><p>Now that he was mobile, Pepper decided to take Morgan into town to see what the state of the local grocery store was, and May declared that she was going on a hike around the lake. She took a bottle of water, some granola bars, and headed out with a backwards wave. </p><p>Peter — who very obviously had not been invited to join her — stood at the window, both looking and feeling, in that way that Tony was sort of starting to get used to, rather bereft. Tony tried not to take it personally. </p><p>“Just you and me, kid,” Tony said, lowering himself with a grunt into the sofa.</p><p>“Yeah.” He felt anxious as hell to Tony, which didn’t make a lot of sense. He definitely looked like he was thinking about bolting. </p><p>“C’mere, Pete,” Tony said, indicating the sofa beside him. “We need to talk.”</p><p>Peter shuffled over and reluctantly sat. At the other end of the sofa. </p><p>“Okay, this is a good place to start,” Tony said. “What the hell is up with this?” He beckoned between them to indicate the amount of space separating them. “You used to love invading my personal space.”</p><p>Peter shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said to the carpet. </p><p>“Well, everything I’ve read has said that physical contact, especially at rest, settles the bond,” Tony said. “And I don’t know about you, but it’s starting to get uncomfortable.”</p><p>Peter did look up at that. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Hey, kid, no — that wasn’t—”</p><p>“I just can’t seem to do anything right,” Peter burst out. “I didn’t mean to bond with you, it just <i>happened</i>. And I know you’re not happy about it, so I thought — I thought that if I just stayed away... but that’s hurting you, too.” Peter looked away, but Tony could see the shine of unshed tears in his eyes, and he could feel the roiling emotions within Peter — shame and fear and loss and longing. </p><p>
  <i>Jesus.</i>
</p><p>“Okay,” Tony said, “so, that’s not how soul bonds work. But more importantly, what made you think I wasn’t happy about it?”</p><p>“<i>I felt it</i>!” Peter snapped, jumping to his feet. “When it happened, during the battle, I could feel you weren’t happy about it! And — and then I went and saved your life with it, which I’m <i>not</i> sorry about, and it cemented the bond and now you’re stuck with me!”</p><p>“Whoa, hey, Peter—”</p><p>It was too late. Peter bolted out of the living room and up the stairs, where Tony was expressly forbidden from following him. </p><p>“Shit,” he said aloud. </p><p>
  <b>NOW</b>
</p><p>On their second day at the lake house, Tony pulled out the hammock. </p><p>It was a little early in the year for it but the afternoons were warm enough, he thought. And so after lunch, the two of them pulled on sweatshirts and took a couple of blankets and a tote bag full of devices, snacks, and water down to the hammock Tony had hung by the edge of the lake. </p><p>It was the first time since Tony had woken up in the middle of the night with a gaping void in his mind where his bond with Peter should have been that he’d felt anything like normal. Peter was still feeling the effects of whatever had been done to him — he was sleepy a lot, and anxious, and his head hurt at times, though he never said a word. Tony wouldn’t have known except he got faint echoes of the pain. </p><p>“This was a good idea,” Peter said, once they were both in the hammock, blankets tucked over them. It was swaying slightly, rocking them slowly back and forth. </p><p>“All my ideas are good ideas.”</p><p>Peter, the little shit, snorted. Tony could feel the affectionate amusement that radiated down the bond, as well as an underlying sense of contentment that was far too rare from Peter.</p><p>“How's your head?” Tony asked.</p><p>“You can feel that, can you?”</p><p>“Not much. But it must be painful for me to be able to feel it at all.”</p><p>Peter shrugged. “It’s getting better. I kind of wish we knew what he’d done to my brain with that... thing.”</p><p>“I wish we knew who it was,” Tony said. “It bothers me that we don’t.”</p><p>“Yeah. Me too.” Peter paused for a moment. Tony regretted bringing any of it up; instead of contentment, anxiety radiated down the line. But he guessed they had to talk about it sometime, and this was probably the best they’d do in terms of circumstances. “It... it really bothers me that it might be Beck.”</p><p>“Nat and Sam don’t believe it was Beck,” Tony said firmly. “I don’t know if that helps.”</p><p>“I don’t know if it does either. I mean... I know I don’t have to go back to school this week, since we told them I had my appendix out, but I have to go eventually.”</p><p>“Cambridge might be safer,” Tony pointed out. “They didn’t do anything until you came to New York.”</p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p>“What’s that mean?”</p><p>“I’m just thinking. Maybe I should think about moving to the compound for a while. I feel bad dumping my problems on Nat and Sam and the others and peacing out back to school. And I don’t know if I’m going to be able to focus until this is over.”</p><p>Tony’s first impulse — which Peter could probably feel — was to object. But it wasn’t an unreasonable idea, and Tony had to admit that he’d feel better knowing that Peter was somewhere with decent security. There was only so much that could be done with a dorm building hundreds of people had to access. </p><p>“That’s something to think about,” he finally said. </p><p>Peter relaxed, and some of the anxiety Tony had been feeling from him dissipated like so much smoke. He’d clearly been worried about how Tony was going to respond to the idea of him not going back to school. </p><p>They went silent for a while. There was a certain push-pull in moments like these, when they were both able to concentrate, almost as though they were trading emotions through the bond. They didn’t get to do it very often; they both had a lot of demands on their time and attention, and neither of them was meditative by nature. Pepper had tried more than once to get Tony into yoga, but it’d never taken. This was probably as close as he’d ever gotten. </p><p>“So how are you doing?” Peter asked after a little while. “And you’re not allowed to tell me not to worry about you.”</p><p>“I’m doing better,” Tony said. “Soul bond feedback loop. You’re doing better, so I’m doing better —“</p><p>“So I’m doing better, so you’re doing better,” Peter finished. “It’s nice when it has positive effects.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Peter fell silent again. Tony watched the light playing through the still mostly-bare tree branches and felt a shiver of uncertainty in the bond. “You still don’t regret it, right?” Peter finally whispered. “Because I know — it’s one more way for someone to use me to get to you, and this was traumatic as hell —”</p><p>“No,” Tony said, and let Peter feel exactly how much he meant that. “No, never, Pete. Never.”</p><p>
  <b>THEN</b>
</p><p>Tony’s original plan, endorsed by May, had been to let things rest for a few days. Before, when Tony could only guess at what was going on in Peter’s head, it was easier to let the kid work through things at his own pace. But now he could feel what Peter was feeling, and it made it a lot more difficult to just let things go. </p><p>Mostly what Peter was feeling was shame. So much shame. And sadness and a sort of existential exhaustion. Tony felt like he was teetering on top of a cliff, and the bond was a gale-force wind that threatened to blow him over the edge.</p><p>“Soul bond feedback loop,” Bruce said when Tony brought it up during their next appointment. He put the portable med scanner away and picked up his tablet to record the data. “Your emotional state feeds off of his and vice versa in a circle.”</p><p>“Well, it sucks,” Tony said with a grimace. “And it’s so... invasive. I shouldn’t have that much information about what he’s feeling unless he wants to share it.”</p><p>“You’ll both have better control once the bond settles,” Bruce said. “It will get less invasive.”</p><p>Tony shook his head. “He thinks I didn’t want it, and I can’t seem to convince him otherwise.”</p><p>“<i>Did</i> you want it?” Bruce asked, eyeing him shrewdly. </p><p>“I mean... if you had asked me? No, probably not. It’s <i>weird</i>,” Tony said. “I’d assumed that if I hadn’t bonded by now, I never would. And I was fine with that. I was never someone who wanted to be bonded.”</p><p>“I know I said this before, but it is more common than we realize for people to feel ambivalent about a bond. It’s not something we’re given any say in, after all. And while people do get great joy from their bonds, it’s not... uncomplicated.”</p><p>“I’ve started to realize that,” Tony muttered. </p><p>“Try to talk to him again,” Bruce advised him. </p><p>“You’d think with a soul bond there’d be less <i>talking</i>,” Tony grumbled. Bruce patted his shoulder in silent sympathy.</p><p>The trick, Tony realized quickly, was getting the kid to himself for a while. Morgan had attached herself to him like a limpet. Tony had been a little worried that she might not take to having an older brother, but Peter basically let her climb all over him and order him around, so she thought he was great. Peter was also obviously going out of his way to avoid geting left at home again; any time someone needed to run an errand, he insisted on going with them. Add to that the fact that Tony couldn’t seem to stay awake past eight o’clock in the evening, and three days went by without Peter and Tony ever being alone in a room together. </p><p>On the fourth day, after another sharp talking-to from Bruce, Tony decided it was time to get a little more direct. He made sure to take a late afternoon nap, so he had more energy in the evening than he normally did. After dinner, he settled on the sofa like he usually did, but he didn’t fall asleep. He waited until Peter had retreated down the hall to his room and set his StarkWatch for fifteen minutes. That would give the kid some time to settle in. </p><p>“Good luck,” May said, looking up from her magazine when Tony leveraged himself off the sofa. </p><p>“Any words of advice?” Tony asked, pausing. </p><p>May looked thoughtful. “Make sure he knows that you chose him. Peter doesn’t always believe that people really want him around.”</p><p>“Got it,” Tony said. “Thanks.”</p><p>Peter had left the door cracked open. Tony knocked and opened it another couple of inches. “Kid?”</p><p>“Hi,” Peter said. He didn’t sound or feel surprised. He felt more resigned than anything else. Tony hated it. </p><p>“Can I come in?”</p><p>“It’s your house.”</p><p>“Yeah, but it’s your room.”</p><p>Peter shrugged. Tony let himself in and shut the door behind him. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he said, lowering himself to sit on the bed with a faint grunt. </p><p>“You can’t avoid someone who’s in your own head.” </p><p>“Mmm. I don’t know about you, but one of the things I’m learning is that just because we can each tell what the other person is feeling, that doesn’t mean we don’t need to talk.”</p><p>“I guess,” Peter said sulkily, picking at a loose thread on the comforter. </p><p>“For instance,” Tony said, “whatever you think you felt from me when we bonded on the battlefield? I’m not going to tell you that I wasn’t feeling what you felt me feel, but you jumped to conclusions about why I was feeling it.”</p><p>Peter raised his head at that. “I did?”</p><p>“<i>Yes</i>, kid. It took me by surprise. I never thought I would bond with anyone.”</p><p>“Much less me,” Peter said, looking away again. </p><p>“Pete...” Tony sighed. He rubbed a hand over his face and remembered what May had told him. “Look. It takes me a long time to trust people. You might’ve picked up on that. I have... abandonment issues.”</p><p>Peter nodded. “Me too. May says it’s a dead parent thing.”</p><p>“Among other things for me, but yeah.” Tony concentrated a pulse of affection down the bond. The edges of Peter’s mouth lifted, despite himself. “But they show up really differently for us. I keep people at arm’s length longer than I should, and you hold extra tight to the people you care about. So the idea of being forever bonded to someone –– it scared me, I’m not gonna lie.”</p><p>Peter bit his lip. “If I hadn’t –– if I hadn’t used the bond the way I did, would you have wanted to try and break it?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Tony said honestly. “But to be honest, I’m glad I didn’t have the opportunity to screw things up with you by saying I did. Does that make sense?”</p><p>“It does.” Peter was quiet. “Are you still scared?”</p><p>“A little,” Tony admitted. “But I’m not as scared as I was. Because it’s not like we’re bonded to random people. I know you, kid. And I –– I trust you.”</p><p>“I trust you, too,” Peter said, finally meeting Tony’s eyes. “And maybe it’s weird but I’m not scared. I was <i>really</i> scared during the battle when I thought you were going to die. I was so scared I don’t even remember what I did. It was just... instinct. And I guess I’ve been worried that you didn’t really want this, and now you’re stuck with me.”</p><p>“Pete,” Tony said, leaning toward him, “you saved my life. I’m really glad you did, and I’m really glad to be bonded with you. If sometimes I feel kind of ambivalent, it’s nothing to do with you. It’s my stuff.”</p><p>Peter stared at him searchingly for a moment. Tony could feel him testing the bond a little, probing. He let him. “Okay,” he finally said. “I believe you.”</p><p>“Good. So now can we do what we need to do to settle the bond?” Tony asked.</p><p>“Yeah,” Peter said with an apologetic smile. </p><p>“Okay.” Tony stood up. He was already wearing his pajamas. He got a blanket out of the closet and stretched out on the other half of Peter’s bed. He held his arm out, and Peter leaned against him. </p><p>The low grade tension headache he’d been nursing for days eased immediately. Peter let out a relieved sigh and dropped his head to rest on Tony’s shoulder. For a moment, neither of them said anything, basking in the suddenly quiescent bond. </p><p>“Want to watch something?” Tony asked at last. </p><p>“In a minute,” Peter said, leaving even more heavily into Tony’s side. For once, he didn’t feel anxious at all; he felt content and tired and relieved and... safe. He felt safe. </p><p>
  <b>NOW</b>
</p><p>On their third day at the cabin, May, Pepper, and Morgan arrived. Morgan ran right past Tony and threw herself at Peter. Peter scooped her up and swung her around while she squealed in delight. </p><p>Pepper, at least, stopped to kiss Tony on her way in. “Everyone doing all right?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Tony said. He could feel just how happy Peter was to see Morgan and his aunt. Even if he hadn’t been able to sense the joy radiating down the bond, the kid’s huge grin as he set Morgan down to hug May would have given it away. </p><p>They still had some loose ends. Some asshole had kidnapped his kid, and Tony wasn’t going to let that go. But after three days, he felt ready to deal with it. And Peter was ready, too, Tony could tell. Recovered and ready. </p><p>“Yeah,” he repeated, pulling Pepper close. Peter looked up and caught his eye. His smile widened, as he undoubtedly felt just how happy Tony was. “Everyone’s doing great.”</p><p>
  <i>Fin.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks, everyone!!! Congrats on making it to March.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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